The Carpenter’s love scene

I was hurrying down the lane in a desperate attempt to catch the cab. The hot lunch box in my hand was burning my fingers and the keys I was carrying was jingling with every step I took.
I was debating with myself the best excuse I could dish out to the cab guy without putting myself across as a tardy person. # lazypeopleproblems
I passed by a house which had the garage door open and a carpenter was at work. Sawing away and perfecting the piece of wood. I hurried past a few more houses and I could still hear him sawing away a midst my hurried steps. Suddenly I could feel something hit my backpack. My reflexes kicked in and I turned around to see the tall, lanky carpenter standing there and grinning at me.

As he stood there grinning at me a sudden unknown emotion hit me. Our eyes met and it all made sense to me. He gave me his best impressive smile and I looked down shyly. I dropped my backpack to the floor and took two steps forward in doubt as the clothes I was wearing turned into a long flowing dress covered in flowers and it touched the road. Grass grew everywhere that the tail of my dress touched and the grass spread. Tall trees broke the ground and pushed forward and reached for the skies. The sun shone bright and embraced us in its warm light. The houses disappeared and there was nothing but tress, flowers and birds singing. A crown of flowers manifested itself around my head and I walked forward confidently towards my true love. I caught the bouquet of beautiful colourful flowers which was air-dropping itself to me and ran into my love-at-first-sight’s open arms. As we embraced the trees swayed in heavenly joy, the birds sang beautifully and the sun shone brightly on us. True love…
YEAH…..NO!!
I turned around and scowled at the grinning lanky carpenter dude and continued on my journey.
    ~3 DAYS LATER ~

So you know how history tries to repeat itself. So we were back on that lane hurrying to the cab. And again! The exact same spot I feel something hit my backpack. This time there was no carpenter, no true love , no scowl. I look up at the tree. THE TREE!! It was the tree’s dried fruits.
Not only is the society driving me paranoid, Nature is in on it as well !

P.S: My apologies to the carpenter.

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Who knew!!

When chasing a rogue mouse at home. Apparently an iron box is not a tasteful weapon of choice. One can hunt it down with a stick but not an iron box. Though an iron box covers a larger surface area and would make it a better choice. But when your hunting partner rebukes at your weapon of choice, you have no option but to stop mid-track and ponder on this world and its obsession with tradition. And let them carry on chasing a mouse with a thin stick.
Maybe an iron box works on a rat…..

Winter dramatics!

It is Winter!! 😀
With winter comes cold and with cold comes a blocked nose!! 😦 😥
From a slightly runny nose in the morning to a completely blocked nose in the evening(all thanks to the office air conditioning). Like what are they trying to do?? Hoping it will start snowing..?? A white Christmas maybe?? So I spent most part of the evening breathing through my mouth like a fish out of water.
I return home completely famished and craving for something piping hot.
After few minutes of parading up and down the kitchen holding onto my stomach, mock crying, sniffing and begging for an early dinner in front of Mommy darling, I finally triumph! I thank my stars and also my ridiculously good dramatic skill set and commence to indulge in the delicious aromatic home cooked food. Whilst chewing on my third morsel I realise the situation that I have been air dropped into.

My brain: “DANGER!! DANGER!!! ALL AIRWAYS BLOCKED!! Stop putting food in your mouth!!”

My taste buds: Yummy-Mummy foooooood….don’t stop. Keep that food train coming”.

Ravenous stomach: ” More, more, more!!!! Gimme more!!”

And that is how dinnertime turned into a battle for survival.
My strategy: Small morsels, chew fast and swallow and then deep breath. Repeat!
In between I even had a debate whether it was wise to continue eating at the cost of not breathing. Turns out my stomach is a cold-hearted-selfish-tart.(It might be working against me). The experience made me think of the popular song, No Air

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air
If I should die before I swallow
It’s ’cause you took my breath away

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
It’s how I feel whenever you are here
It’s no air, no air

If you are here, I just can’t breathe
           It’s no air, no air

After surviving the dinner, I was lying on the sofa watching television (breathing through my mouth). My mum comes in, looks at me and asks, ” You caught a cold? “. I look up at her mutely and nod my head profusely. She narrowed her eyes and takes a seat after calling me a Drama Queen. If only she knew that she almost lost her angelic daughter to the common cold.

Gin Ginni

The sunlight streamed in through the kitchen window. It was a bright sunny day in AbsolutelyNowhere. The flowers were a-bloom. The birds were a-tweeting.

Tweet, tweet, tweet.

Ginni was in the kitchen on this absolutely fine morning chopping onions. Singing aloud, ” Speak and the world is full of singing,
And I’m winging higher than the birds…”

Chop chop chop…”Touch and my heart begins to crumble,
The heavens tumble, Dahhhh-ling…..”
Ginni was swaying left and right. One would say that she was absolutely enjoying chopping onions. She two-stepped on the spot.

In the open cupboard sat Gin, the mouse nibbling on some cheese and alert, as he had to dart back to his hole if he was noticed. The cheese was absolutely delicious. Yummmmm. This was a huge chunk of cheese, more than he usually came across. He looked at Ginni swaying and chopping onions. He relaxed a bit.

Nibble nibble…chop chop,
Nibble chop, nibble chop,
Nibble nibble nibble nibble,
Chop chop chop chop.
Gin was relaxed by now. The overdose of cheese was partly to be blamed
Mostly to be blamed.
To be blamed.

“Words! Words! Words! I’m so SICK of words!
I get words all day through;
First from him, now from you!”

Ginni raised her hands in the air, “Is that all you blighters can doooooooo?”
She turned around with the knife still in her hand, to grab the wash cloth.
“Tell me no dreams filled with DeeeeSiii….AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”
Ginni shrieked.
Gin let out a startled squeak through his cheese stuffed mouth.

The knife speared through the air towards him.

R.I.P Gin.

Dirty black spots

I see the lil’ cat,
It looks pretty fat.

A smoky black coat,
Riddled with dirty black spots.

Ears alert,
Whiskers a-twitching,
Black furry belly,
My fingers are a-twitching.

It looked down at me,
Ready to pounce.
I looked up at it,
Challenging its stance.

A muffled call from faraway,
A quick glance to the left,
A mat of furry black fur flying at my face!
Phatttt!!!
Thud!!

Stupid cat!

Rain-summoning outfit

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How do you convert a normal outfit into a rain-summonong outfit? Simple, wear a brand new outfit on a day it is most likely to rain. Get completely drenched in the rain, while constantly cribbing about how the dress is brand new. And ta da…the next time you wear the dress you can be sure to gather some dark clouds overhead. For all the lucky(unlucky??)beings like me, who happen to live in a place where the weather has a mind of its own, you don’t get to pick the rain-summoning outfit. The All-mighty weather blesses you with a rain-summoning outfit.  So every time you wear the outfit no matter how bright and sunny it is outside, be sure to have the heavens rumbling, the dark clouds above galloping towards you and letting down their fury for having summoned them. The weather in my area has a tendency to always pick the light coloured outfits as the rain-summoning outfits(my white pair of pants!!). It is such a nightmare to walk on the muddy, half flooded streets in white trousers!! It feels like you are a character in a video game, jumping from one dry patch of land to the other at the same time avoiding being splashed with muddy water by conceited car drivers(such snobs!!!) You can love the weather or hate it! But nuh-thing is gonna make it change its ways. Today another new outfit of mine got converted into a rain-summoning outfit. And, it is white!!!!!

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