Curse responsibility, two words which garnered immense depth for me by just one incident. Mind you, I am not one who shies away from cursing. And I believe it is perfectly justifiable to curse when you are vexed.
It happened when the B-word was all the rage. When it was okay for friends to call each other the B-word and I used the word liberally. I was still studying back then. On returning home after spending a horrid day at college I headed straight to bed. But I could only catch an hour’s worth of sleep as I had to attend classes at 3 p.m again. This hour’s worth of sleep did not do me any good. I did not feel a least bit rested but instead it left me with a throbbing headache and it was already 3 p.m. After dragging myself out of bed and getting ready to get out I realised I was short on money to catch an auto.

My eyes heavy with sleep, my head throbbing in pain, irritated and angry at having to attend classes I sleep walked my way to my mum half knowing it would not end well. I requested her for some extra money. She held out the money but refused to part with it without giving me an earful of how tardy a creature I had become off late.

I yanked at the money, but my mum tightened the grip and then BOOM!

She did have a genuine point but I was in no mood to listen to her with the clock ticking, my head throbbing and my eyes drooping. I had nearly reached the boiling point. I yanked at the money, but my mum tightened the grip and then BOOM! I dropped the B-Word. It just slipped out even before I knew it. My mum’s grip loosened, shoulders dropped and she stared at me with a sad face. That face! That expression! It haunts me to date. I grabbed the money and got out of the house ashamed of what I had done.

It has been more than a decade since and I still look back at the incident cringing at what I did

I spent the rest of day admonishing myself, trying to justify what I did but terribly failing at it. I felt like a worthless creature. When i did return home I found my mum very silent, clearly she was hurt. But for the next couple of days I did hear it from my mum and my dad. Shameful, the entire episode left me shameful. It has been more than a decade since and I still look back at the incident cringing at what I did.

One, words have an impact, even curses and when you do take the responsibility of cursing you should be willing to bear the brunt.

Ever since that day I learnt three important lessons. One, words have an impact, even curses and when you do take the responsibility of cursing you should be willing to bear the brunt. Two, to have a control over my potty mouth and to keep cursing outside the sanctity of my home. Three, an hour’s sleep just makes me cranky and irritated.

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